First Haircut!

Yesterday was  a big day - Nico got his first haircut!  Nico has never said that he didn't like his hair or wanted it cut. He liked his hair. Outside of Nico, I am probably the only one that loved his long, shaggy 'do. 

A few weeks ago, Bode was complaining about his hair style (the lady really did a bad cut) and how he wanted another haircut.  I explained to him that the only way to 'fix' the hair style was to get it cut super-short. Bode did not want to do that, but continued to complain about his hair. And then, Nico started chiming in about his own hair.  "Mom, I reeeeally need a haircut!" Nico would whine like some desperate 13 year old fashionista begging to go to the mall.  I would question him, because I felt that Bode was influencing Nico.  But Nico maintained that  he wanted his hair cut short.  

So I made an appointment. And I have to say, his hair was looking particularly unkempt and gnarly on haircut day.  

Is he looking at me like, "Please, woman, do something with my hair!"

I wasn't very emotional but I did tell the stylist that this is HIS FIRST HAIRCUT OMG PLEASE BE GENTLE AND I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUCH. I also explained that since it was his first hair cut,  I would have my big camera in her face the whole time and that I wanted every scrap of hair that she cut from his precious head.  And then I took out a gallon-sized Ziploc bag from my purse to show her that I meant every.single.piece.of.hair. I told her that I was making a pillow out of Nico's hair as a memento. (just kidding)

Nico was great.  He loved sitting in the "Lightning McQueen" car and watching "Cars" while the lady cooed about how sweet he is and how adorable. I snapped photos and watched the transformation.

The hair stylist cut off all the length before getting into the nitty-gritty styling.

The hair stylist asked me if I wanted a "big boy cut" or something else.  I asked Nico, "A short haircut, right, Nico?" and he mumbled "Yeah," (still glued to "Cars").  She proceeded to cut and then said, "you know, you could keep some of that surfer-boy shag. I mean, he still has a lot of curl in his hair and it would be cute. And there's always time, Mom, for the big boy cut."  So of course, I said, "Yes."  And this is what he looks like now:

Nico is very happy.  I love his haircut but I am having a hard time adjusting. My mind still pictures long-haired Nico. So when I see this short haired, darker-haired boy, I do a double-take.  Also, I think he looks like Bode with the short 'do.

Everyone loves his new look. RWF was so happy when he saw that Nico (finally!) got his haircut. And everyone has complimented Nico on the new style.  It's a big boost for Nico, and I love that he feels good about his new look. 

xo

SEVEN!

Dear Bode,

Wow. I can't believe that we are here, starting your SEVENTH year.  When you were a baby, Aunt Dawnie told me that this day would be here before I knew it.  I remember when she told me, and me thinking something like, "Okay, stop. I don't need to think about him being 7 when he is just a baby in my arms. I love this guy so much RIGHT NOW and that's all I want to think about:  NOW, not years from now."  But here we are. (she was right)

You are emotional, artistic, happy, silly, and fair. You are up and down every 5 minutes emotionally, especially around me.  You are prone to outbursts of shouting and tears when you don't get something the way you want it (the right shirt, a missing toy, a (wanted) drink...anything can set you off). You are particularly emotional around me.  And I sometimes don't know how to deal, or don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal, with your frustration.  I'm still learning.  Seven years and I'm still figuring out how to react to your reactions.  We have learned that you are indeed a growing boy and so most emotional outbursts are a cry for food or drink.  Sometimes you can be sated with a snack or water. You have started at a new school where you go for hours longer than you ever have (in a classroom!). You are learning the new ways of a school and the people that inhabit it.   I have to remember what a big day you've had: how you have sat, how you have 'lined up,' how you have listened and followed the rules.  I have to remember that you  are depleted by the time I pick you up from school. And yes, you have to let off some steam, and that is why I am here. I am the safe place.  So instead of feeling annoyed, I should feel honored and loved.

In your down time, you love to color and paint.  You work through so many reams of paper, and so much color, creating.  You like to make up silly monster characters that are not mean or scary, but silly and happy.  You like to make books and 'read' the stories to your family. You love to sing made-up songs and tell stories that are in your head. Most of them are silly and make me laugh.

You love your sister and brother.  Most of the time, you all play together so well.  You have stories to tell and your sister and brother follow the plot lines well. Sometimes, there are kicks and shoves in the back seat.  Sometimes, you are tired and you like to annoy Gianna by leaning on her and repeating, "I'm so tired, I'm so tired," while she squirms and tries to push you off of her car seat.  Sometimes you don't have respect for personal space. But you are always fair and you do what's right when it comes down to it. I'm proud of you for being a good person to your brother and sister. 

You have lost...8 (?) teeth so far.  You currently have 2 loose teeth and you're so happy to  be 'ahead' of Gianna in the loose tooth department. Every time you smile, I'm blown away when I see those big teeth, front and center. Who is this big guy?  When I swing Nico around, you say, "Swing me! Swing me!" and I have to tell you that you are too big for me to pick up. You are always sad when I say that to you. But you know what? -- it makes me more sad to tell  you that I can't pick you up and swing you around anymore.

You did not want a birthday party this year.  We have asked that you consider having a birthday party and you are thinking about it. I am hopeful that after a few more months in your new school, you will have a couple of friends and feel happy in your class.  

You are entering the big leagues, my love. Seven just seems like a stepping stone to 10 to me, and I'm worried about how fast this is going to go.  But what I do know is that you like to take things slow and easy. Hopefully the fast train on "7" in a new school won't be too hard on you. We love you so much and will do everything to help you stay the happy, smart, and peaceful guy that we love. Happy 7th birthday, Bode Wm.

Love, 

Mommy

xo

Three

Dear Nico-baby,

Happy 3rd birthday!  You are so much fun and so full of love. You make everyone you meet (and you've never met a stranger) happy.  People love to stop and say Hello to you, and these people walk away with smiles and a lightness in their footsteps.  

Your big brother loves to tell you stories and get your agreement on everything. "Right, Neec?" he will ask, and you will respond, "uh huh," whether you have an opinion or not. Your sister is a a big help to you, watching your every step and fastening your car seat buckle. Your dad laughs at your pronunciation of words because you sound like you still live in New York, saying  "cawr," (car), "buttah," (butter), and "hod," (hard).  You love running around your backyard and kicking the soccer ball around. You love soccer so much that we cheated and got you into a 3-5 year old class, instead of the 2-3 age group that you probably belonged in at the time of registration.  But as I told the soccer coach, you've got 2 big sibs, and you act and move a lot older than most 2-3 year olds (that don't have sibs). This year, we went to an African drumming celebration, and this show left a big impression on you.  You always ask me, "Mom, do you remember the drumming guys?" and I always say, "Yes, yes, I do," and you will start a "drumming" noise and make your own tune. "Tuka" is my special nickname for my little drummer boy. You like being called "Tuka," but if someone asks you your name, you will say, "Nico-baby." Yes, it is "Nico-baby," because your sibs will call you this, too. And you are still a baby in that you love to be carried in my arms (but you are getting too heavy!). 

I love your love of life, and your easy smile. And your drumming? --that is the music of my heart. I love you, sweet boy. May your 3rd year be big and fun!

Mommy

xo

Priscilla

We said goodbye to Priscilla on Sunday, March 29. The void that she left is huge, and heart-breaking. WE LOVE YOU, P. 

Less is more, and more is more

a recent impromptu picnic on a hike, a time that I remember feeling happy and not stressed!

Things have been incredibly busy around here.  Crazy-busy.  The kind of busy that makes me want to shout, "Stop! I want to get off this ride!"  Our family has been humming along, but I  (we) have felt the effects of too much.  Too much activity, too much stress, too much...of everything.

For the children, I've cut all activities except school (ha!) and swimming.  This swimming session ends in a few weeks, and I'm going to cut swim lessons to 1 time per week.  The children enjoy being active but I can tell that they are tired.  Bode is now 6, and I worry about how life is going to speed up for him, once he hits "real" elementary school. I want to keep things simple for him, for Gianna, and for Nico, for as long as I can.

For me, I am tired of feeling tired.  My most common feeling, and my constant lament, is "I'm so tired."  I'm tired of being such a drag, and feeling like I'm...dragging.  I have yet to make a doctor's appointment for a check-up, but I will soon. I think things are catching up with me, again.  It's difficult to move and go through the motions of moving.  I think I go through the motions because I "have to" and then as a result, 6 months or so later, I crash and the effects of everything hit me. I'm finally starting to feel like we "live" here, and starting to imagine what that means for all of us, and what I want our life to "be" here.  I am also carrying my mother around, dragging her death behind me.  After my mom died, I went to a therapist, carrying baby Nico into the office with me each week. I didn't think I could continue seeing her, the therapist, because of everything else that was going on.  I remember telling her that I had too much going on, both physically and mentally.  I'll never forget her words: "You need to deal with this now, or it's going to come out later, in other ways."  I shrugged it off at the time.  But what she said was so true.  It keeps happening: anger, sadness, etc. Yesterday I was laughing my head off with RWF about something, and an image of my mother's memorial popped into my head, and I started crying uncontrollably.  "Why are you crying?" RWF asked, surprised at my abrupt swing. And I had to tell him that I thought of my mom (I didn't share the image).  Did he understand? Probably not.  I'm not being authentic, not to myself and not to anyone in my family.  I need to deal. Grief is the worst.

  

We (RWF and I) have been under a great deal of stress about our living situation (i.e., the house).  We have been struggling to find a house for our family.  I've been unhappy where we are at, but it might just be the place to stay. This subject's a bore, so I won't go into the details. It's something that we need to resolve.  There are other, more personal stressors involved, too.

That is one, and other, reasons I have not been updating the blog. It is the same (boring) issues and stressors.  Thankfully, the children are doing great, and growing like crazy in all kinds of ways. I need to get back to recording their personalities and funnies.  As far as the 52 project...I have been taking pictures weekly, but I have not been uploading them here. I cringe at the idea of trying to back-date all the photos in order. 

We are making some changes around here.  Hopefully, with the subtraction of some things, and the addition of some other things, life will be a bit more manageable. I hope to be back to recording our lives soon.

Happy weekend to you.
xo

Happy Birthday, Bode!

photo by Blue Lily

Dear Bode,

You are the big 6 years old now. Every day, we are amazed by your intelligence, sensitivity, and imagination.  Every day, we enjoy your happy smile. The past 6 years have been such an incredible experience for me and Daddy.  We are so lucky to have you in our family.  You radiate a calm, happy energy. You're FUN and have an imagination that rocks!  

photos by Blue Lily

Most of all, thank you for your love, Bode. You are the best.

Happy, happy 6th birthday, pumpkin.

We love you so much. 

Mommy
xo

Happy 2nd Birthday, Nico!

Photos by Blue Lily Photography. Thank you, Wendy!

Dear Nico,

Happy Birthday to you!

You are such a joy.

We love you so much!

xo

36/52

A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014. Linking up with Jodi and her 52 project.

Bode: loves watching science shows on TV

Gianna: no matter how many times or how well we brush her hair, it always ends up looking like some version of this

Nico: probably wondering, "Why did Mommy say NO (when I climbed up here on the fireplace)?"

First Day of School!

Well it has begun: a new school year. Same school, and the same classes.  Bode has his old teacher, Teacher Traci. Gianna has a new (boy!) teacher, Mr. Trent.  Some old friends, and some new friends.  It will be a great school year!

You can see from their sleepy, glazed expressions in these photos that school was kind of an abrupt change to their summer routine!  Plus, all the new faces around them in a familiar setting had their attentions.

They both had a really good first day.  They came home in good spirits, and tired! But it will be awhile, I think, before the reality of "school-is-the-new-norm" will sink into their heads.


The second day was just as startling. I had to wake them, and they seemed surprise when I told them to get ready for school.  We got Gianna into a pair of (new) pants. I guess, since she agreed to wear them this morning, that she is conceding that yes, it is indeed chilly in the mornings and we must dress appropriately!  Bode insisted on wearing the same outfit (???) as yesterday.  I washed it last night but we had to do a speed dry this morning.  Ugh, it was all tears and protests until I produced that *&#@ lightening bolt shirt and orange shorts from the dryer! Nico is the only one that is cheerful in the mornings. He loves going to school. Maybe it is because we take a walk through the farm and see chickens and goats after dropping Bode and Gianna! 

It will take awhile for our routine to become...well, routine.   I'll try to take more snaps and report more next week. Hopefully the children will get more sleep and look more rested over the next week!

I do hope that I will be able to blog more with the children in school.  Nico is not quite ready to nap in the mornings. He kind of dropped morning naps over the summer. But I'm hoping that he too will settle into a nap routine so that he can rest while his sibs are at school.  I missed reporting on our summer adventures (we did do a lot off our summer bucket list!) and I missed capturing milestones  and special events (Nico's milestones, and baptisms, in particular).  Hopefully, I'll be back to this blog regularly!

Hope that your back-to-school week has been fun!

xo

35/52

On Labor Day, we set out for Hood River.  But an emergency announcement on the radio told us that the highway was closed due to "police activity."  So we had to re-route ourselves.  After much bickering (I am directionally challenged, and can't read a map - not even an iPhone map - to save my life. This drives RWF absolutely freaking CRAZY.), we wound up at a place in the Southeast called Powell's Butte, a 608 acre nature preserve.  These snaps were taken there.

Monday night, we remembered to Google the "police activity" that had closed a long stretch of the highway: a gunman was on the highway, shooting at cars.  The gunman was eventually killed by the police after a stand-off.   (ACK!)

This day was a sad day.  It was the first time we had taken off on a walk without Priscilla in tow.  She has been ill, and is not able to join us on walks anymore. 

34/52

A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014. Linking up with Jodi and her 52 project.



Bode: Story teller. In the car on a long ride, he entertained us.  He has such a big imagination!

Gianna: Swimmer (almost).  Last 2 weeks of swim lessons for this summer!

Nico:  Explorer.  Loves walks, and finding things...and he walks for so long! I rarely have to carry him.

33/52

A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.  Linking up with Jodi and her 52 project.



Bode:  I'm still enjoying the gap-tooth smile

Gianna: I love that she still has the toddler "chubbiness" to her limbs

Nico: an early morning hula-hoop session in his PJs

George Rogers Park

I guess I got embarrassed, writing about how lazy I've been and how we have not done much of anything this summer.  Realizing that we only have about 3 weeks of summer left, I guess I felt like kicking it into gear. 

Last Friday, we went to a new park to us, George Rogers Park.  I had heard of this park, because there was a "grand opening" and a lot of press written up about it a couple of months ago.  But I had no idea it was so close to us! It is right in our town, maybe 7 minutes away from our house. It's a park that's been on my (mental) list of things to take the children to, but I've never felt like seeking it out. 

I'm so glad that we went to this park.  It is brand-new, and has a lot of things for all of the children to play on and enjoy.

Sometimes, a park isn't geared for a range of ages, so someone (usually the baby) has nothing fun to do except watch his siblings run around having fun.  But this park had bucket swings (a huge plus):

and a slide that Nico thought was the perfect size for him, the little scamp (but I was not happy or comfortable with...so he went down it twice, solo, and then I took him elsewhere):

and a huge sand pit, which, euuuw (thanks, Dawn, for the edification so many years ago!), but they all enjoyed it:

and for the big ones, there were swings, climbing structures and fun things like this seesaw:

I didn't get many pictures of the big children playing on the playground because, quite honestly, I was playing on it with them! You know, just demonstrating how to use it. ;) 

I'm so glad that we checked it out.  We will be back. This week, we're back in the 90s again (ugh).  I need to just 'keep on keeping on'....before summer ends!

Happy Tuesday, friends.

xo

32/52

A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014. Linking up with Jodi and her 52 project.


Bode: lost his first front tooth this week, and finally agreed to a hair cut (love that smile!).

Gianna: learning to button (and wearing a sweater that cool summer morning)

Nico: went down the slide by himself (fearless!)