First Haircut!

Yesterday was  a big day - Nico got his first haircut!  Nico has never said that he didn't like his hair or wanted it cut. He liked his hair. Outside of Nico, I am probably the only one that loved his long, shaggy 'do. 

A few weeks ago, Bode was complaining about his hair style (the lady really did a bad cut) and how he wanted another haircut.  I explained to him that the only way to 'fix' the hair style was to get it cut super-short. Bode did not want to do that, but continued to complain about his hair. And then, Nico started chiming in about his own hair.  "Mom, I reeeeally need a haircut!" Nico would whine like some desperate 13 year old fashionista begging to go to the mall.  I would question him, because I felt that Bode was influencing Nico.  But Nico maintained that  he wanted his hair cut short.  

So I made an appointment. And I have to say, his hair was looking particularly unkempt and gnarly on haircut day.  

Is he looking at me like, "Please, woman, do something with my hair!"

I wasn't very emotional but I did tell the stylist that this is HIS FIRST HAIRCUT OMG PLEASE BE GENTLE AND I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUCH. I also explained that since it was his first hair cut,  I would have my big camera in her face the whole time and that I wanted every scrap of hair that she cut from his precious head.  And then I took out a gallon-sized Ziploc bag from my purse to show her that I meant every.single.piece.of.hair. I told her that I was making a pillow out of Nico's hair as a memento. (just kidding)

Nico was great.  He loved sitting in the "Lightning McQueen" car and watching "Cars" while the lady cooed about how sweet he is and how adorable. I snapped photos and watched the transformation.

The hair stylist cut off all the length before getting into the nitty-gritty styling.

The hair stylist asked me if I wanted a "big boy cut" or something else.  I asked Nico, "A short haircut, right, Nico?" and he mumbled "Yeah," (still glued to "Cars").  She proceeded to cut and then said, "you know, you could keep some of that surfer-boy shag. I mean, he still has a lot of curl in his hair and it would be cute. And there's always time, Mom, for the big boy cut."  So of course, I said, "Yes."  And this is what he looks like now:

Nico is very happy.  I love his haircut but I am having a hard time adjusting. My mind still pictures long-haired Nico. So when I see this short haired, darker-haired boy, I do a double-take.  Also, I think he looks like Bode with the short 'do.

Everyone loves his new look. RWF was so happy when he saw that Nico (finally!) got his haircut. And everyone has complimented Nico on the new style.  It's a big boost for Nico, and I love that he feels good about his new look. 

xo

Three

Dear Nico-baby,

Happy 3rd birthday!  You are so much fun and so full of love. You make everyone you meet (and you've never met a stranger) happy.  People love to stop and say Hello to you, and these people walk away with smiles and a lightness in their footsteps.  

Your big brother loves to tell you stories and get your agreement on everything. "Right, Neec?" he will ask, and you will respond, "uh huh," whether you have an opinion or not. Your sister is a a big help to you, watching your every step and fastening your car seat buckle. Your dad laughs at your pronunciation of words because you sound like you still live in New York, saying  "cawr," (car), "buttah," (butter), and "hod," (hard).  You love running around your backyard and kicking the soccer ball around. You love soccer so much that we cheated and got you into a 3-5 year old class, instead of the 2-3 age group that you probably belonged in at the time of registration.  But as I told the soccer coach, you've got 2 big sibs, and you act and move a lot older than most 2-3 year olds (that don't have sibs). This year, we went to an African drumming celebration, and this show left a big impression on you.  You always ask me, "Mom, do you remember the drumming guys?" and I always say, "Yes, yes, I do," and you will start a "drumming" noise and make your own tune. "Tuka" is my special nickname for my little drummer boy. You like being called "Tuka," but if someone asks you your name, you will say, "Nico-baby." Yes, it is "Nico-baby," because your sibs will call you this, too. And you are still a baby in that you love to be carried in my arms (but you are getting too heavy!). 

I love your love of life, and your easy smile. And your drumming? --that is the music of my heart. I love you, sweet boy. May your 3rd year be big and fun!

Mommy

xo

The Wednesday before the last day of school

Tuesday drop off at school.

There are three letters to sum up how I feel about this week, and tomorrow: O M G

I'm simultaneously freaking out because my children will be having a ceremony tomorrow (do not roll your eyes...when you have children, these stupid preschool graduations mean so much) and because I'm trying to finish up the teachers' gifts before tomorrow morning. 

Why am I sitting here writing when I have so much to do?  Well. I can't finish up the teachers' gifts, because I'm waiting for one mother to bring her child's artwork to school pick up this afternoon. Yes, even though I asked for the artwork (that I gave all the supplies for so that there would be no delays) to be completed and delivered to me by last Thursday, June 5, this mother has yet to bring it to me.  Today is  her last chance. So, there's nothing else for me to do until I have everything. Ahem.   Second, I love nothing more than to write about how emotional I am feeling about my children!!! There! I said it.  I know that it can be positively grating when someone (me) is always whining about how sad everything makes her (me) and how emotional she (ME) feels.  I'm sorry if that's the case for you.  Sorry for being so grating and complaining about this one anonymous mother (grrrr) that hasn't given me the needed artwork.

But I do feel....so much....with my children. It is amazing how much emotion I feel and how strongly I feel these emotions. They are so incredible, these children (all children) and man, what a wonderful experience to have in your lifetime.  (Please don't write me emails about how you don't want to have children and how dare I suggest that the only way your life is complete is if you have children. I don't. I believe everyone has meaningful, emotional experiences in his and her lifetime as long as she/he has relationships - be that with your children, your partner, family, friends, dogs, cats, parakeets or even your garbage man! Enjoy!)

Tuesday school pick up. I've decided Nico is not going to school.

So this week has been especially trying and exhausting and emotional for me.  I'm just trying to get through tomorrow, people.  Tonight is going to be one big craftastic rush trying to get four (4!!!) teachers' gifts together by tomorrow a.m., but hey, as long as it makes them smile, all will be well. (Note to self: next time, don't volunteer. Just don't volunteer.)

Tomorrow, we have the rainbow bridge ceremony where both Bode and Gianna will say goodbye to their current teacher,  cross the bridge, and say hello their new teacher. I get so weepy just thinking about it (grate. sorry).  Unfortunately, we have been asked not to take photos or videos.  The teachers feel (strongly) that the photo-taking and video-taking during these events takes away from the experience for everyone.  They have appointed one parent to take the photo of each child crossing the bridge. Hopefully I will be able to focus on the event and Nico will be quiet so that everyone can enjoy the experience.  RWF will not be able to attend because he is in CA.  That is a big bummer for me.

After the rainbow bridge ceremony, we are going to walk back to the school for a picnic.  There is going to be a lot of walking and carrying of things (school stuff, teachers' gifts, picnic food for my family) and I really hope that I can do it all (and keep track of Nico). ;)  I want tomorrow to run smoothly and be a really happy day for Bode and Gianna. 

Wish us luck!

xo

She's twirling

My Mia Gianna update has been postponed.  We had a glorious day, weather-wise, and so we were outside all day. Activities involved:  taking a walk, "hunting" dandelions and, most importantly, twirling in the yard.

This weather has been such a welcome relief. I really needed the sunshine. My mood has been sour lately.  I think the grey skies and rain were starting to contribute to a more negative mind space.  And the children are just so happy with the sunshine!  Bode is particularly vocal about the sun these days.  The other morning at breakfast, he sang, "Oh Mr. Sun, please come out so that I can see you." His melancholy call seemed to only echo my own internal plea. 

So the RX has been lots of outside time, taking walks with Nico and P, watching Nico stomp through the remaining puddles for as long as he wants, and watching the other two monkeys run around our yard like, well, monkeys.

For those of you still in the freezing temps, I hope that these pictures warm you. ;)
xo

02/52

A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014.  Linking up with Jodi and her 52 project.

Bode:  after months of growing his hair out, decided that he wanted his hair "short like Daddy's."

Gianna:  contemplating how a princess would smile

Nico:  took another hard fall on Saturday; a face plant that caused his gums to bleed (but they look okay here)

The weekend, a big change, and camp!

Shortly after joining his company and getting acquainted with his "team," RWF told me that he works with a lot of young people.  On Friday, we went to a picnic for RWF's department. At the picnic, I could see what he meant. He does have a lot of young people working with him, and I felt so old!  I actually thought, "So the tables have turned. I'm no longer the youngest at the office, bidding my old crow manager and his stodgy, Talbots-attired wife adieu when they depart from the company "forced fun event." Mais non.  This time, I am the old crow wife, clucking her tongue at her children, yet smiling brightly while greeting the young worker bees in RWF's department. Yikes! Reality sets in again.  RWF works with a lot of nice people!  I was happy to meet them and "enjoy" the hottest day of the year (!!!) with them. (Man, it was so hot. I threatened RWF several times that if we did.not.leave.this.minute....well, you know. In reality, we stayed until 7:30. It cooled down a bit after the sun started to set.)

Let it be known, that whenever I see Nico's little face, I think, "Oh, my love," and my heart folds itself up into a little origami something-or-other because I just can not get over this baby. He is so precious!

Bode is getting so big. He is definitely going on "5." Not that I really know what "5" is, but he is looking older, acting older, and talking older.  Now, I can no  longer placate him or stop undesirable behavior with a redirection. Now, when I try to placate or redirect behavior, he argues back or tells me "why" what I am saying or doing won't work. He is just too smart for me.  And it's not just personal things that he is smart about (smart alec, sometimes) but brain-smart, too.  The other day, RWF turned on a space program, and without any introduction at all, Bode announced, "Oh that is one of Jupiter's moons, Endura."  We sat in silence until the narrator of the show confirmed that yes, we were in fact looking at one of Jupiter's moons, Endura.  (Honestly, I can't remember if the moon was called "Endura" or what it is called. Look it up. Or ask smartypants Bode sometime. He'll tell you.)

"Hi, I'm 5 going on 42, and a future employee at NASA"

And as you know, Gianna is a big 3 year old. She does not like to be left alone so I have to accompany her to the restroom every time she goes, and she now insists that her closet light be turned on every night as a night light. But, she no longer sleeps with her baby dolls or animals. She sleeps alone in her crib, with just her Hello Kitty blanket. And every night, she tells me exactly what to do, as if I'm some amnesiac that is charged with putting her to bed every night:  "Put on my Hello Kitty blanket. Turn on my fan. Turn on my closet light. I want to see my pretty dresses. (channeling Vanna White, I dutifully open her closet door, with a flourish, and show her pretty dresses to her) Oh, so pretty! Give me my bah-bah and say Goodnight to me." She says all of this quickly, like an order, with barely a breath in between as I go through the paces. 

And now that I've written that, I wonder, does she miss our routine?  See, that has all changed, because on Sunday there was a big change to our routine.

On Sunday, RWF and I just bit the bullet and moved Gianna's crib into Bode's room.  A short 2 hours later, and the verdict was in: Gianna will be moving back into her own room! What happened was this:  to be expected, they were both soooo excited to be sharing a room that they couldn't sleep.  Bode let Gianna out of her crib TWICE, and accompanied her downstairs to check in with us over silly stuff, like, "Hey guys, Gianna needs to go potty." (oh really? )  I was occupied because I was nursing Nico to sleep. So RWF had to deal on his own. The second trip downstairs occurred around 8:30 PM, which is 1 1/2 hours past their bedtime.  And I was about to have a heart attack, thinking of them tripping and falling on the stairs as they made their way down in their giggly, wired, sleep-deprived state. I told RWF, "This will not do. I can not sleep knowing that they will be going up and down the stairs all night."  Luckily, RWF threatened them with immediate separation if they did not return to their beds and GO.TO.SLEEP!  It worked. 

And to be expected, they both got up at the crack of dawn (5 AM) and yes, walked downstairs and attempted to wake me up (and Nico!), but RWF intervened.

There are so many issues.  I am trying to put Nico down in the evenings after I put Bode and Gianna down for bed.  So if they continue these shenanigans during the week, I'm not going to be able to deal with the situation and put Nico to sleep.  Plus, there is still the whole frightening stair issue (Gianna does not go down the stairs without an adult holding her hand. The fact that she was walking down (and up) the stairs with Bode, who is not so stable himself, gives me heart palpitations!) And then there is of course the idea that Gianna has already lost a lot of sleep (over 1 night), and who knows how long she'll be able to go at this pace.

So. Miss Mia Gianna will most likely be back in her own room by the end of the week.  Hope that you enjoyed the mini sleep-over, kids!

9 AM and they are both already exhausted!

The two monkeys are back in camp this week. It will be the last week of camp before school starts.  Gianna was not so gung-ho this morning about returning to camp. It could be that she is tired from last night. Who knows.  She was fine when I left her.  

Is that snowman laughing at me?!

She did insist on wearing a snowman hair bow this morning. And I had to wonder, is that a statement, that, like her mother, she is so over this stupid, hot, humid Northeast summer, or is it a harbinger of things to come (snowy freeze-your-ass-off winter)? 

Happy Monday.

xo

Daddy love

I took this photo after the big scare at the farmer's market.  After that scare, we went straight home, and we were putting Gianna down for a nap. The little monkey ran and jumped into her daddy's arms before bidding us goodnight.

Happy Wednesday.

xo

The time we lost (and found) Gianna

On our way to drama the Farmer's Market on Saturday

Saturday we went to the Farmer's Market. We got there later than we normally would because of the baby.   So by the time we arrived, it was packed with people and vendors.  We walked through quickly and decided to eat breakfast at our favorite stand.  I ordered, while Gianna stood beside me.  RWF was nearby, with Bode and Nico (in a stroller).  

We sat down in a picnic area to eat our breakfast sandwiches and we were joined by Mrs. Atkins, Bode's (future) Kindergarten teacher, and her daughter (who is Bode's age).   We ate and chatted for awhile.  Then we said goodbye to Mrs. Atkins, deciding to do one quick walk through the stalls again.  RWF joked, "You can spend your remaining 6 bucks on anything that your heart desires," because buying breakfast had taken almost all of our cash.  And I laughed.

We walked through a maze of people.  RWF had Nico in the stroller, and I had Bode by the hand. Gianna was beside Bode, skipping along. RWF stopped at a tomato stand, asking the vendor where she was from in NY.  They exchanged a few geographical references before we started to move on.  I then stopped, looked at RWF and asked, "Where is Gianna?"  I just knew that she was gone. Doom.  We looked at each other for a second before splitting. I felt drained and yet, full of adrenaline. I ran in one direction, still clutching Bode's hand.  RWF ran in the other direction, wheeling Nico through the crowd. 

I got to the end of my side of the farmer's market and spun around, scanning for a tiny 3 year old in the mass of tall shoppers, tables piled high with greens and crates.  No Gianna.  I yelled her name a couple of times. I remember one man glared at me. I looked at him, challenging him to say something. Then I ran back the other way I had come.  I remember Bode asked, breathless, "Why are we going so fast?"

I ran smack into a wall of people.  Roadblock. I was about to claw my way through. I was so scared at how much time had passed since Gianna had gone missing. My mind was racing with possibilities, each one worse than the last.  Then I saw Mrs. Atkins looking at me as she made her way through the shoppers. She very calmly told me, "I saw Gianna. She's over there (pointing through the crowd).  Bob is on his way to her."  I thanked her. And then, I started to cry.  Relief poured through me, and I wanted to sob. But I cried silently. I wasn't going to feel better until I saw her with my own eyes. And, I didn't want to scare Bode or Gianna by crying as openly and loudly as I felt like. 

We got through the crowd. RWF was standing on a sidewalk, holding Gianna in his arms.  I walked on my jelly legs, toward them.  "Is she alright?" I asked.  RWF said that she was fine.  I pulled her out of his arms and into mine. I hugged and kissed her, so thankful to have her back.

What happened? Why didn't I notice that she was gone sooner? Where did she go? Why didn't anyone help her? What was she thinking? Was she scared? These are questions that I keep asking myself. The answers will never be known. I think that she just got 'swept up' into the crowd walking away from us, in the opposite direction.  

As RWF said, "Well, that was our first."  But probably not our last incident involving a lost child.   Over the weekend, we would both ask each other questions about what had happened, offering our own opinions and observations.  RWF told me that when he spied Gianna, she was standing by herself on the sidewalk, looking up, as if scanning the adults for her own parents.  She did not look or act scared or panicked.  I wonder how long she had been standing there. How much longer before she would have cried, feeling abandoned and lost by the two people who are supposed to be watching over her.  When I picture her standing alone on the sidewalk, I like to imagine both her grandfathers  standing sentinel on either side of her, keeping her from harm.

I've had tearful moments over the past couple of days, reliving the "what ifs" and being so thankful that things worked out the way that they did, with my little girl safely with us. I have not wanted to leave her side, telling RWF at night, only half-joking, "I want to sleep with Gianna."  The idea of her being tucked into her crib only a small reassurance to my PTSD over the incident at the farmer's market. I wanted to crawl in beside her, press my nose to her warm, small back, and dream sweet dreams of being together always.

Happy Monday.
xo

Mia Gianna: 3rd Birthday part one

Today we visited our family in Syracuse to celebrate the big girl turning 3.  I didn't "talk it up" beforehand. I simply told the babies that we were visiting Grandma, Aunt Dawnie & Uncle Craig, Andrew, and Aunt Debbie.  I did not mention a "birthday" at all. The announcement of visiting was good enough for them! They were thrilled.  

But her family did make the day all about Gianna, and they made sure that she felt very special!  Of course, she loved being surrounded by everyone that she loves and spending time with them. 

Hello Kitty everything!

We learned something interesting about Uncle Craig today! (hint: he has a special hair brush, too!)  Uncle Craig also makes a great meat sandwich:

First Barbie!

Check out Bode's face!

Special guest star Andrew!

Nana and her baby boy

We had a wonderful day. It was a great "kick-off" to Gianna's birthday week.  

Thank you, everyone, for making Gianna's day wonderful.

xo