And we're (almost) AUF!

Taken yesterday, before the "incident"

This morning I took the babies to the bakery and to the park for the last time!  I spent the afternoon packing, purging, and cleaning. In my "spare" time, I enjoyed coloring and doing puzzles with Bode.  Gianna's swelling has gone down, but she still has a fat lip.  She was clingy today, too. I don't know if she's physically wrecked, teething, or knows something's up tomorrow.  Tonight, after reading stories, I was excited telling Bode that tomorrow we will be on the plane and headed to home.  But then I felt bad, because I immediately thought, "Home, but not for long," thinking of our New York trip (and new home) just around the corner.

I took pictures today but I was too busy to upload them. That just means I'll be sharing more later! ;)

We have a 4 A.M. wake-up call and a taxi pick-up at 5:30 A.M.  So we are going to bed early tonight and getting mentally/emotionally ready for a very, very long flight tomorrow.  Auf Wiedersehen, Berlin!

Happy weekend.

xo

Friday play date pics

Priscilla has a brand-new, extra-large crate for our upcoming move.  Priscilla has no desire to get anywhere near it.  The babies are enjoying it, though. It seems like every time I turn my back, one or both of them is inside of the crate.  Here are pics from this morning:

Here are today's pics from the park.  Bode was off and running at the park. I stuck close to Gianna and made sure she didn't climb to the top of the play structure.

What are your plans for the weekend?  My plan is to pack, pack, pack (and pack some more). And to get out the calendar and plan out the next couple of weeks (as much as possible).  I also want to take Bode to a pancake breakfast hosted by our local firemen.  Shhh!  He doesn't know about it.  I haven't told him because I'm not sure if the timing is going to work for us. I hope that we make it. I know my little guy would love to see a real fire truck first thing in the morning.  Whatever your plans, I hope that you have a happy weekend!  And, HAPPY FALL!
xo

Auchtung baby

As my dear friend Heidi Klum would say, "Auf Wiedersehen!"

Okay, we're not really dear friends. Or really friends, for that matter.

I did not make the right decision about Berlin.  Once I had decided not to go, I felt sad and down.  After a couple of days of me moping around the house, Bob and I made another decision. We decided that we needed to be together as a family.

This man.  He is the best. He makes things happen.

So now I am very happy to report that we are going to Berlin.  Yay!  I feel better about our decision. Now all we need to do is tie up all the (many) loose ends before our departure.  And hopefully memorize some useful German phrases, such as "Please help me with these two babies, thank you" as I will be on my own in Berlin while Bob works hard at his new company.

I am reading a guide book on Berlin.  I recently learned about JFK's famous speech on the Cold War situation, where he mistakenly said, "Ich bin ein Berliner," which could mean, "I am a donut."  Bob was incredulous that I had never heard of this JFK speech before.  Needless to say, it is embarrassing that I had not known this, and I hope to learn a lot more about Berlin reading this guide book and while visiting the city.   Reality is, I will be busy being a mommy to two babies, just in a different country.  Hopefully, I won't be making a huge mistake in doing this trip. I am sure jet lag will be brutal for all, and getting used to a new place and new routines will try everyone's patience and fortitude. Hopefully, like JFK, my mistakes will be forgiven and overlooked, in the spirit of why I wanted to do this...to keep my family together.

And this boy?  I think he told us, in his own way, that he wanted to go to Berlin.  On Sunday, we were going outside, and he told Bob that he wanted to wear socks with his sandals.  How very European, no?

Happy Friday.
xo

So happy together

Wow.  It has been such a crazy couple of weeks.  And I think it's only going to get crazier through the Fall. Speaking of Fall, its official date is just around the corner (23rd)!  Yay, Fall!

Today I went to the photographer's to proof and select the photos. Those photographers, what creative marketers! Actually, what an easy market to sell: photos of loved ones. But this photographer had a really slick set-up. So I walked into the office, and they had a huge photo of Bode and Gianna projected up on the wall.  I gasped.  The receptionist sat me down on a couch facing the projection and explained that we were going to view a slide show. After the slide show, we'd go through the photos again, more slowly, so that I could edit down to what photos I wanted.  Has anyone done this?  It was so much fun.

So the slide show starts and so does the music.  I swear, I heard the first note/key/whatever of this song and my eyes welled. I turned to her and warbled, "No. Do not do this. Seriously. I can't. I will be bawling and won't be able to see any of the photos if you play this song."  It was Iz's "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," one of my absolute favorites of all time.  His voice is so beautiful and haunting and makes me sad, in a happy way.  And to hear it with photos of my babies projected before me? I was about to lose it emotionally.

So she tried another song.  "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler.  Seriously?  What is going on here?  That is my dad's song.  Please don't do this to me.  Once again, I told her to not play it. I explained that no music at all would be better for me, because I'm in a really emotional space right now.  (she was probably thinking, "freeeeak!")  She said, "Okay. I will play something happy for you." And I repeated, "No music is better, really."  Instead, she played this song.  And it put a happy vibe on the show.  But I didn't really hear it, because I was so focused on the images of Bode and Gianna before me. (But the song played in my head all day. Bob and I sang it aloud to the babies while they splashed in the bathtub tonight.)

First, I just sat and enjoyed the slide show. The second round, I was much more critical. As I feared, the photos were not that great of them together. One shot would be good of one of them, and the other one would be looking weird.  I  edited very quickly. I stood up and as the images scrolled, almost barked out the orders, "No. No. No. Yes. Maybe. No. No. Yes."  I actually felt proud when she said, "I like you, Heather. You know what you want."  I wish that Bob had been there to hear her say that. He would never believe it. I am usually so indecisive, and (continually) second-guess any decision that I make.

Yesterday, after days and days of deliberation, I made the decision to not join Bob in Berlin.  It was a very hard decision to make.  My reasons for not going are many.  One of the reasons is that I think Bob should be focused on work while in Berlin. I'm afraid that if I am there with the babies, he will be concerned/distracted by my and the babies' issues while we are acclimating to Berlin. Another reason is, I feel selfish taking the babies to Berlin. I feel like they should stay home while we still have this home available. I feel like their routines should stay routine. I feel like I should keep things as simple as possible for them. Soon things are going to be different. Soon we will be traveling. Soon we will be finding a new "home" and establishing new routines.

But after I made the decision to stay here, I didn't feel any better about having finally made a decision. In fact, I felt incredibly sad. Shouldn't we all be together? I will miss Bob.  The babies will be without their daddy. This will be hard on all of us. Did I make the right decision? I don't know.
xo