This morning

This morning, Nico napped. A miracle!  I guess I timed it just right because he went down without a hitch.  So that left me alone with Gianna (rare).  We colored for awhile.  And then I started feeling antsy, like maybe I should fold the mountain of  laundry piled on our dining room table.  So I asked Gianna to bring her coloring into the bedroom while I folded laundry.  (I went into the bedroom to minimize the noise level so that Nico would stay asleep.)

As I was folding laundry, I looked over at my little girl. She was intently scratching her blue crayon across the surface of the paper.  I noticed how her chubby little hand curled awkwardly around the crayon. I saw the look of concentration on her face, her pursed lips, and her body bent over her artwork while she colored.  It was such a peaceful moment. And I thought, "Is it ever going to be this simple again?" 

I've been thinking a lot about Gianna growing older. She's going to be 3 in a couple of months! It is crazy.  And, I've been thinking about her going to school next year.  I went to the school office and signed the contract this week, so it's on my mind.  The school director kept talking about Gianna, and I kept having an urge to correct her, "No, you mean Bode."  Because in my mind, Gianna is not a part of the school. 

So I had to pull out my camera and capture this moment. A snapshot of my still 2 year old baby girl, soon to be 3 year old school girl.

Happy Wednesday.

xo

Miss sparkle shoes

Gianna spied these shoes on a recent shopping trip and immediately wanted them.  I couldn't resist them either! They remind me of Kate Spade, but without the Kate Spade price tag (obviously).

She wore them all day & night. I know that she felt special. I want some fun shoes, too.
Happy Wednesday, and treat yourself to something fun.
xo

36 weeks and thoughts on siblings

Anxiety over a new baby? Gianna at breakfast this morning.

I am 36 weeks.  I am feeling a little nervous, a little ready, and a whole lot tired!  I think I have done everything I can to "prepare" - as much as one can "prepare" when a family of 5 (P is definitely a beloved family member) is about to welcome another baby into the mix.  

This past week was unsettling, in that so many people would stop me and ask, with slight alarm in their voices, "When are you due?" At first, I thought it was my imagination. But then, it kept happening while my sisters were here, too, and they confirmed that people were definitely asking with some  concern in their voices.

When I was pregnant with Gianna, I was so worried about Bode. I felt sick and emotional that I was  ruining his little life. I felt like I had betrayed him. I would cry at night after I put him to bed. The day before Gianna was born, I took Bode to the park.  I sat with him, and watched him play, and all the while I kept thinking about how this was the last day that his life would be this way. The next day, his life would never be the same.  It sounds pretty dramatic, but I was very, very emotional about what I was about to "do" to Bode. And that is how it felt to me: I was doing something to him.  I knew that there would be positives (much later) but mostly, I was sick at the idea that my sweet baby boy was about to be sharing me, RWF, our home, our life...everything, with this new baby girl. And he had no idea, had given no consent, and had no say in the matter at all.

This time, Bode is almost 2 years older than he was when Gianna was born.  Bode is ready to meet his new brother. Bode will start school a week before the baby arrives, and I hope that he finds school a welcome retreat, and not an interruption to his new life with "Nichoras."

And now, it is Gianna that I worry about. It is Gianna I feel like I am deceiving, even though I've done what I can to "prepare" her (reading stories, talking about the baby in my belly).  She is a little older than Bode was when she was born, but not much. When I ask, "Who is going to be a big sister?" Gianna happily responds, "Me!"  But other than that automatic response, she has no clue about how much her world is about to be rocked. She is only 2, after all. Poor baby. But at least she will always be our little girl.

This is what I wanted: a big family.  I grew up in a large family and I love it. My thinking is, the more siblings, the better. But I had no idea what life had in store. And I didn't know the anxiety that I would experience every time I added to our brood. I didn't know about all the emotions that having children brings.  Everything increases. And it is all good. I am blessed.

Everything will be great. I have two wonderful children right now. And they will welcome this new sibling. And in time, I hope, they will all be super close.  If Bode and Gianna are any indication, then I have nothing to worry about.

Happy Wednesday.

xo

Accomplishments

Today after a diaper change, Gianna insisted on putting her pajama pants back on by herself.  I was skeptical and impatient. And then I thought, "You know what? Let her deal. I've got other things to do."  I let her struggle with putting her little footies into the leg holes while I straightened the playroom. It took awhile, but she did it. All.by.herself.  Big accomplishment! (and might I add? --Bode has never shown any interest, or much ability, in putting on his own clothes. Boys!)

Today, Bode  discovered how to fly.  He races across the living room floor and then crashes into our sofa. This is him "flying."  Suddenly, he is into Spider-man and super heroes. I have no idea how he was introduced to these two subjects. We certainly didn't put them into his head.  But today, he is a flying super hero (when he is not busy playing with his cars).

Runnin, runnin....

Boom! (and Gianna & Hop Hop follow)

Today, as part of my "don't be a lame mom just because you're 24 months pregnant" campaign, I took the babies to the park.  When I was pushing Bode in the swing, he happily shouted, "I'm a SUPER HERO! I'm FLYING!" Gianna repeats everything that Bode says, so she became a flying super hero, too.  I chatted it up with one mom while we were there.  She is the mom to 5 kids.  I told her that she was MY hero, as I'd always wanted 5 kids.  As with any adult who only glances in my direction, I glommed onto her, and was soon chatting her ear off about babies and family-size. I told her how I wasn't ready to stop having babies, but all other signs (really, one, being RWF) point to No.  I became the Scary Woman in the park, the one to avoid, the One Who Shares Too Much. 

Mom of 5 was nice, and seemed to enjoy  (?) the convo, too. She had such a serene, motherly calm about her that I was immediately envious and taking mental notes (note: don't yell at your kids, smile and sweetly distract instead).  She had a 4 year old boy, and she introduced him to Bode.  Bode and Jack played together. I was  happy to see them play together. Bode needs a boy to play with;  I think Mom of 5 was happy, too, since Jack is the only son in her bunch.  

Today, our play room was expanded.  Yes, it appears that a whole entire room is not enough to contain the activity, noise, and traffic that is Bode Wm's world of cars.   Note to RWF: we need a bigger house. (ha! he'll love that)

Oh to be little again and lost in the world of cars play.  Instead, I have to clean and cook. We are having company for dinner tonight.  So despite any desire to lie down and sleep, I need to prepare food and house.
Today I want to have a clean house, and yummy, hot food on the table by 6 PM. Wish me luck!

Hope you have a SUPER (hero) Tuesday.

xo

Hanging around

Gianna loves accessories. And her babies.

This weekend, we had fun.  We went on numerous walks and park visits.  I have a lot of photos, because I keep thinking, in my emotionally demented way, "This is the last time that there will only be two of them!" I snapped a million (boring, normal) pictures of Bode and Gianna. But I kept switching from real camera to iPhone camera.  This post has some of the iPhone photos (sorry).

We have had some lovely crisp mornings.  "Crisp" being 48 degrees!  I put the babies in long-sleeved and pants pajamas (instead of short-sleeved, shorts pjs) and a fleece.  Then we head out the door to breathe the crisp air before it disappears.  Gianna loves heading out first thing in the morning, before breakfast. As RWF remarked, it's good because it gives them a chance to work up an appetite for breakfast.

Of course, by 9 AM, we are climbing into the 70s and 80s pretty quickly.  Here is Gianna modeling her Lilly Pulitzer dress. I was so happy to buy my daughter her very first Lilly Pulitzer! But.  Doesn't she look thrilled?  No, she's not. Because this dress is BLUE, and not PINK, she doesn't want to wear it.  And forget about the gold sandals, Mommy.  It's PINK Crocs all the way.  (ugh)

This morning, I felt so heavy and lethargic.  I stood in the hot, hot shower and thought of all the lame things we would do if I kept the babies at home (so that I could lie on the couch and feel very pregnant and not so sure I'd last until September 17).  And then I worried that I was causing brain damage to the baby with this hot,  hot shower so I quickly jumped out.  And that's when I decided that we just needed to keep moving forward until I am just "stopped" by labor altogether, or September 17, whichever comes first.

So we went to Congress Park and we rode the carousel (summer list - check).  We rode it twice, because I was feeling generous (and guilty from my lazy thoughts this morning).

And then we topped off the fun with a trip to the ice cream store (summer list - check).  This time, I noticed, I was not able to order plain ol' vanilla ice cream for Gianna (like I did last time we were at the ice cream store). Oh, no.  This time, she is old enough to know better. She marched into the store and scanned the ice cream case for herself.  And when Bode announced that he wanted "blue,"  Gianna announced that she would have "blue," too.  I was suprised that she didn't order "pink."  I'd like to think that my fashion conscious daughter was only choosing blue to color-coordinate with her summer dress. But the pink Crocs make me think otherwise.

Blue smile

I cooked some more "freezer meals" this weekend.  I have no more room in the freezer so my make-ahead meals are done (whether I like it or not).  I think the only thing I can do now in regards to food preparation is to book-mark a bunch of recipes to cook in a Croc-Pot.  If you have any yummy, make-ahead or slow-cook recipes, please share!

This weekend, I had a smallish list for RWF, pertaining to the hanging of pictures and other decorating/organizing/removal of items for the nursery and the shared bedroom. RWF and I discussed this weekend, and decided that a shared bedroom is on hold, for right now.  We'll leave things as is, unless something changes to make it seem like a good time to transition.

I still have a lot of other stuff that I want to get done before this baby arrives. But every little stop-me-in-my-tracks  twinge sends me reclining on the nearest sofa or bed.  I may not get everything done and I have to be okay with that. I am so not used to feeling this way. My other two pregnancies were so easy and I never  had any pain.  This pregnancy is different.  I hope that the little guy's just giving me a hard time, and not really planning on an early arrival.

Photo taken today  at Congress Park by Bode

Bode is more than anxious for his little brother to arrive.  This weekend, he told RWF and I, "When Nichoras gets here, we are going to play Tag and Hide-and-Seek!"  Sometimes I think Bode thinks more about "Nichoras" than I do. (Nah! not possible)

Happy Monday.

xo

Mia Gianna's second 2nd birthday

Yesterday, Nana and Aunt Dawnie paid us a visit.  We had a lovely time together.  We also celebrated Gianna's birthday (again!).

Even though it is not Bode's birthday, Bode got a few presents, too.  Bode got a new bike from his Nana.  RWF took it for a spin.

Aunt Dawnie brought Bode a special box of shells from Myrtle Beach.  He loves opening up the box and looking at all the different shells.

(This is so cute. I wish it had been cropped better when I took it!)

See ya

Another lovely family day. I'm getting spoiled, having so many visits from family lately.  I think August is going to be a long month, with no "planned activities" for the kiddos and waiting for this baby to arrive!

xo

Splash

Miss Independent

This morning, Gianna woke at 6:30 A.M.  This is super early for her (and Bode).  She was kicking her crib and shouting, but in a happy way.  I decided that I had better get to her quickly, before she woke up Bode.  I went in, and she was fine.  "Hi, Mommy," she said, just like she always does.  No diaper leaks, no poopy diaper...so why was she up?   I thought about asking her to please stay in her crib for another hour. But then thought, "She's up..."  So I got her up and dressed. We went downstairs quietly. And while I was getting breakfast together, I watched as she opened up the screen door and slipped out on the patio.  "Now wait just a minute...." I thought.  "Who did she think she was, leaving this house without telling me?  Who was this 2 year old, this baby who now opens doors and goes outside by herself?" I immediately switched into my defensive, lecturing mother stance. But then I took a deep breath. I peeked out the kitchen window and watched her make her way, barefoot, down the deck stairs and onto the dewy grass.  She stepped gingerly, but quickly, making her way around to the front of the house.  I thought about running out there and giving her some parental "guidance," in the form of a lecture about how "we" don't just let ourselves outside and go away by ourselves. Instead, I opened the garage door and ran outside quickly to meet her.  Our paths met, and she looked up, surprised. "Hi, Mommy," she said again.  I smiled, and told her that she needs to tell me if she is going outside so that I can be with her (no lecture, just a friendly chat) and asked her to please put on her shoes.  She put on her shoes and then we walked around the yard together, picking up acorns and pine cones, inspecting flowers and fallen leaves. 

After awhile, we came back inside for some milk and coffee. We sat on the couch and talked. RWF joined us, tickling Gianna while we discussed our weekly agenda. Bode slept an hour later than he normally does, and so the house was quiet and calm.  It was  a peaceful, easy morning.  (and I've made a mental note that the screen door must be locked at all times)

Today we went to a park with a splash pad. It is on our summer list, so it had to be done, right?  Honestly, every time I drove by the splash pad, I'd feel so guilty that I hadn't taken Bode and Gianna there yet.  Mondays are usually my errand-running days.  Today I didn't have an errand (because I ran errands late Saturday night) so I thought that today would be the perfect day for the splash pad. And it was.

Instead of watching my clock, I watched them. I watched as they splashed and played. I watched, until they started showing signs of being tired. When Gianna laid down on the ground, letting the spray just fall over her like so much rain, I knew it was time to leave.  I gathered our things and gently told them that it was time to  go home.  They were ready, and complied without too much resistance. I wrapped Gianna in her towel and she collapsed into my arms, a tired baby bundle to carry to the car.  We were there for an hour and 45 minutes. Had I been watching my clock and sticking to "the schedule," we would have stayed for exactly 1 hour (and I would have fought them for a good 20 minutes trying to get them to leave, before dragging them both to the car).  (Note to self: sometimes, things just work out if you leave things alone and just go with the flow).

Saturday we went for a family swim.  It worked out really well having one child per parent.  First, RWF swam with Gianna while I swam with Bode. Then we switched.  I think the babies enjoyed it, too.  Gianna was on her back and kicking (with RWF holding her). She is a fish in the water, completely at home.

Sunday I cleaned like crazy.  I got so much cleaning done early in the morning, while RWF was on his bike ride. RWF was so impressed.  He kept saying, "I can't believe how much you did," and as if trying to motivate me in the future, adding, "...and it didn't take you that long, either."  Uhm. Yeah.  (Wrong!)  It was a lot of work, but worth it. It is really nice having a completely clean house. I was completely whipped by 5 PM though.  We ate out all weekend (and Thursday, too).   

Bode starts camp again tomorrow.  I really hope that he is enjoying this and getting something out of it. And I hope to use one day this week to do a fun activity for Gianna.  

Successful days like today (waking with Gianna, being at the splash pad) make me feel so good!  It has been a long time since I've felt like I've had an easy time of it (mothering).  When days like this come, when the mothering is easy and doesn't require any thought or stress, I think of my own mother. I think sometimes that she is giving me a nudge, and a wink,  prompting, "This is how it is done."  She was, after all, an expert. 

Happy birthday to my sweet brother!

xo