Sunny weekend

We had such an incredible weekend. It was incredible simply because the sun was out!  I absolutely loved it.  I think my mood improved by 1000%.  I smiled. I was happy.  I felt relaxed. I played outside with all of my babies. It was so much fun for all of us.

Saturday morning, RWF brought up the Exersaucer from the basement. I washed it and stuck it outside to dry. Nico thinks he's "sooooo big!"

Bode Wm. is "soooo big" as well. I can not get over how big he is getting, and turning into such a "boy."

A picture of me, smiling about being outside in the glorious sunshine. I have no jacket on as it was so warm. I still bundled Nico up in his down suit though.   That proved to be a mistake as he got too hot.  Luckily we have plenty of outdoor gear to wear.

 RWF and Bode negotiating on what scooter to ride.  Bode won and got the big one.  They raced around. I am so surprised how good Bode is on the scooter.  He took a hiatus over the winter and just hopped on and rode it like nobody's biz.

This child of mine.  She splashed in all the puddles and then took her pants off because they were "aw wet."  We let her run around bare legged. She loved it.

I hope that you got some sun this weekend. It made a world of difference in our little corner.

Today, it has rained all day. Really.  Non-stop rain. I actually love the rain, so it hasn't bothered me.  After we picked up Bode from school, we got donuts. I declared an impromptu donut party.  Bode and Gianna thought it was a great idea.  I asked what all we needed for a donut party (even though I 'called' it) and Bode said, "Balloons!" So I blew up two red balloons. I also put two birthday candles and stuck them in each donut. A bright spot to our day. Party complete. Babies happy.

Happy Tuesday.

xo

A conversation with Bode

Dear Bode,

Last night, we had the longest and most interesting talk we've had together in all of your four years.  We were reading in my bed like we always do, with you, Gianna and Nico in PJs.  I had just finished a book, "The Berenstain Bears Go on Vacation," and I was wrapping up for bed.  Out of the blue, you said, "I am very scared of sharks."  I paused, and quickly tried to find the "right" answer to this simple declaration.  I took a deep breath and agreed that sharks are pretty scary, and that I'm afraid of them, too.  Then I explained that we don't really have to worry about running into sharks, because they live deep in the ocean.  We talked at length about sharks, what they eat (people! you said) and how we could protect ourselves against sharks (live on land, visit the ocean in a submarine! I suggested).

You said, "I would be okay as long as I was with my family."  I agreed and said that we would be together.  This sparked another topic.  You shook your head and said, "No Mommy, remember that one time when I was very, very little, and you left me?"  Internally, I had alarms going off in my head. "When had I ever left him alone?" I wondered. I worried about permanent damage, scarring to your psyche.   I asked for clues. You said that you were walking up a very big hill and that I had walked off and left you. "Impossible!" I shouted gleefully.  No, you said, you left me ("you reft me") and "I was very scared." I thought a minute. "Was this in California?" I asked, thinking of all the big hills we walked in California. You shook your head No.  I tried to establish a timeframe.  "Was Gianna there?" I asked.  You looked off into the distance, as if the answer would appear in the air.  "Yes..." you said hesitantly "and Nico was in your belly."  I thought about this for a few minutes. Coming up with no scenarios where I had left you, I dismissed it with "It must have been a dream, baby. I would never leave you." You became upset and insisting, "You did,  you reft me arone and I was scared. I was calling for you but you would not hear me."  I thought about how scary this must have been for you. I hoped that it had just been a quick bad dream. But obviously it left an impression in your mind.

Then, you quickly shifted gears.  "Is it dark in your tummy?"  I blinked. What were we talking about again? Oh, is this a new subject? I told you that I didn't know for sure, but I thought it must be.  "Is it scary?" you asked. I thought of pregnancy. "Oh, are you talking about Nico?" I asked.  Yes, you were talking about Nico.  I explained that it wasn't scary because that is all you know as a baby. It's warm and hopefully, peaceful.  "But is it dark?" you asked. I said that I thought it depended on whether it was dark or light, depending on if I had on clothes, etc.  Then you made a face and said, "But it's yucky in there, right. All that food..."  I explained that Nico was in a different part of my tummy. It wasn't yucky (we have talked about food and digestion/waste) but it was probably noisy.  "Are there fun things in there?" you asked. I suppressed a giggle, thinking of a toy box loaded with "fun things" for a developing embryo to play with.  I replied that I didn't know. Then I had an idea. "You know what is in there?" "What," you asked.  "Water!" I smiled "It's like swimming. So it can be fun."  You thought about this and insisted that it's probably yucky in there, too. I pointed at Nico and said, "But look at Nico. He came out okay, right. So I think he was okay in there. And you were, too. And so was Gianna."  We talked a little bit more about my belly and how you "popped out" (your words) a long ("rong") time ago. You said, "I want to have a rook in there again. Can I rook in there?"  I explained that you probably couldn't look in my tummy. You became upset, insisting that you wanted to know what it's like.  Seeing no resolution to this request, I suggested that we go to bed. "You know what," I said, "I really enjoyed this conversation." Then I sat for a minute and stared at you. Your eyes were clear and light and a smile played on your lips while you talked. Your sister and brother were there, but it was almost like we were alone in the room, having our own private conversation. And I had this thought, "This little guy is growing up. This is our first real conversation and I never want to forget it."  I looked over at my phone on the nightstand, and considered reaching for it.  I could record the rest of this conversation. But then, I didn't want to break the spell. I left the phone alone and put all my focus on you. 

So that is why I am writing it down now. I wish I could record everything word for word. I wish I would remember this  conversation forever, as well as how you looked at that time.

I sat there, wanting to continue our conversation, but knowing that I needed to get your sister and  brother to bed.  I would love to know, if we could have sat there, just the two of us, how long we would have talked and what things we would have said.

I'm so looking forward to more thoughtful conversations with my big boy.

I love you.

Mommy

xo

Thursday

This morning we made oatmeal cookies. We ate some of the cookies (at 10 AM). Once the sugar kicked in, we ran around the house until we collapsed, and then read books.  

Staying inside and trying desperately to act like the weather does not suck.

Happy Thursday to you.

xo

Mia Gianna - Big Girl Now

I am big girl, hear me roar....

Gianna is using le toilette (please pronounce with a Frenchy accent).  We went out a couple of weeks ago and bought big girl underpants.  She has been going strong, with just a few accidents. She is so determined. She has this "resolved" in her head that she is a "big girl" now, and doesn't need diapers.  There is a little resistance at night when I put a night time diaper on her.  But I just (gently) explain that when she is sleeping, her body "forgets" to wake up and use the potty.  

Hip, hip, HOORAY! for Miss Mia Gianna.

We also got a call from the school, and they will be setting up an appointment for her to "trial" a school day soon.  She will also get to meet her teacher. This does not worry me in the least because Gianna already knows her teacher.  It is Bode's teacher! So that works out well.  I will be curious to know how Gianna does at school the first time. I kind of don't want her to "trial" at the school, because I think once she trials there, she'll just want to keep going to school. I think she will walk through that door and never look back (at me).  But who knows.

Gianna has also stopped napping.  This is very disappointing for me.  I really need (memememe) the break of at least one child sleeping upstairs.  But these days, she does not willingly walk upstairs for a nap. I have to coax her upstairs while she protests that she wants to stay downstairs and "pway" with Bode. But I win, and she goes upstairs and "pways" (loudly) in her crib. I will keep her in a nap routine for as long as I can.  You might remember that I did the same for Bode!

I'm still going strong on the no dairy, no nuts, no eggs, and no soy.  Sometimes I think of a food that I want to eat, and then just as quickly, remember that I can't eat it because it contains cheese, or another "no-no."  (And yes, I realize I can leave cheese off, but it's really the *cheese* in the dish that I want, if you know what I mean.) At some point, I am going to reintroduce certain foods to see if there is any reaction from Master Nico.  But for now, I want to give my body a chance to clean out, and for Nico to recover fully.  The random shot of eggs, pictured above, are fresh eggs that we got this week. Fresh eggs, I love you. But sadly, I will just have to admire your pretty colors and not eat you. (and no, the eggs really have nothing to do with Gianna, except that she loves to eat them, hard-boiled.)

Nico is looking great. He is not scratching himself either.    It has been wonderful to see him clear of any redness and not scratching his little scalp.  He has, however, started waking up a lot during the night this week.   I am so tired. Last night, I waited for RWF to come home from work, and then, after exchanging a quick review of our days, I announced I was going to sleep. It was 8:15 PM.  I'm glad that I did, though.  Nico was up again at 10:32 PM.

Daylight Savings Time begins this Sunday! Are you ready?  I've been putting the babies to bed early all week.  We will see if it helps.  I was getting excited for Spring, but tonight's forecast and tomorrow's forecast is snow and dreary cold.  It is currently nothing but grey skies and wind today.  It is so cold.   It's very hard for me to imagine that Spring is around the corner.

Now, if you will excuse me, I will begin crying over my baby girl turned Big Girl. No, really...I could honestly weep thinking of all the changes, and how Gianna is just on the fast-track to big girl now.

Happy Wednesday to you.  

xo

Sunday pictures

Gianna was an absolute silly goose, and has her daddy wrapped around her finger.

Can somebody please explain to me why Nico is sitting up by himself?! What happened to my little baby?  And Nico's skin is back to normal - hooray!

And last, we had a visit by Spiderman.  He sometimes just appears in our house, sits down and watches TV.  I don't know about you, but I feel much safer when the friendly neighborhood web slinger is in the house.

Tomorrow is Monday.  Are you ready for a new week?  Let's make it a good one!
xo

And the winners are...

ANONYMOUS AND KRISTI!!!

I used random.org to generate two winners for the giveaway.  There were 3 comments by Anonymous, but the winning "anonymous" comment was:

I love your blog! I love the newsy narratives about Bode W. Gianna and Nico. But I want to know how you have changed- your out-look, aspirations and such. How has mommyhood changed you?

Anonymous, I will certainly answer that question on an upcoming post.  I think answering that question is going to take some time for me to write (though the answer itself is not hard).

Kristi, I loved your comment. And it's so true.  We have to celebrate the every day, because life can be hard.

Congratulations to "Anonymous" (oh, I think I know who you are, Anonymous) and Kristi.  I will be sending a package out to you soon!  Thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

xo

Diet is a four letter word

Remember Nico's rash? It's back.  Nico's face was all red and blotchy earlier this week, with these raised, scaly red patches all over his face and scalp. He looked miserable, but he wasn't acting like it. Still, we went to the pediatrician, and discussed what's been going on and what I'm eating.  I told the pediatrician that I have been eating a lot of nuts, oranges, and (drum roll) I hadn't given up my beloved mocha. When I said that I had switched from milk to soy for my mocha, his eyes lit up.  "A-ha!" he said "Soy!"  I was told that 40% of people that are allergic to dairy are also allergic to soy.  I also mentioned eggs. Yep, eggs could also be a trigger. So I'm avoiding dairy and dairy items, soy, and eggs.  The ped also made my heart break because he prescribed a cream for Nico, explaining that Nico probably feels pretty itchy.  He offered to do a blood test on Nico to pinpoint allergies, but I declined. I don't want my baby going through that. 

I'm back on the elimination diet.

I hate the word, "diet" and have always prided myself on not trying anything like a diet. This is a little different, of course. But it has made me feel bad for people with real food sensitivities and allergies (hello, Andrew!) that have to be extremely careful.  It's such a bummer.  On Friday, I was at lunch with RWF. Scanning the menu, everything contained cheese, even the salads.  I was disheartened and said, "What can I eat?!!"  I settled on a turkey sandwich with just lettuce and meat.  It was bland.  Going out to eat wasn't as fun.  And I don't even have 'real' restrictions to my diet like some people do.  

I am keeping a log of everything that I eat.  It is pretty funny to read, and I can tell that I am not eating as much because it is written down!  I think twice before shoveling a handful of tortilla chips into my mouth, thinking, "Well if RWF reads this, he's going to see that I ate chips..." (not that RWF cares, but it does make me think twice)

Saturday's food diary:

1 slice pear

2 cups coffee w/Coffee Mate (yes, I realize that this contains casein)

3 slices of pear

1 small slice of banana bread (yes, eggs...but I read that eggs don't pose a threat if they've been cooked in a product for a long time) (and Nico looks fine)

chili

7 tortilla chips

salad (lettuce, cukes, carrots)

hamburger w/bun

french fries

So there's a written account of Saturday. I have a feeling that my log is going to be a lot longer and more varied as the week wears on. My guard will go down, and I'll start eating freely and not care as much about who sees what I ate!  Again, I know it sounds like I'm complaining. But I would really do anything for this baby! If I had to eat only lettuce for the next 6 months to keep him happy, I would do it.  

This child has no food allergies, thank goodness. And judging by this photo, I would say that she loves herself.

Another positive to this diet is, I'm not running over to Starbuck's every 5 minutes for a mocha.  In fact, now that I know that I can't even have a drink from Starbuck's, I don't even want to leave the house!  Put that bow away, Gianna, we are not going out today!

I am losing weight and saving money. ;)

And, I'm happy to say that Nico is looking better already.

Attention all you slackers: today is the last day to enter for the giveaway!  Just leave a comment here, and I'll draw two (2) winners tonight after I get all the monkeys to bed.  It's going to be a fun little package!

Happy weekend.

xo