8:30 P.M.

I am one of those people that needs 22 hours of sleep in order to feel "normal." Every night, I tell myself I am going to bed at 8:30. Not 7:30, because that would be a little too early. Well, not too early for me. But since Bode is still awake, chattering away in his crib, I feel a little bad, you know, being the only "responsible" adult in the house, falling asleep before him. And I really have things to do after the babies are asleep in their beds. Things like...the dishes! And folding the laundry! And putting away the toys! And checking email! Okay so checking email is the only thing I care about, really.  And that is where I get into trouble. Every night, I tell myself  that I'm going to bed at 8:30.  Then I get online, and before I know it, it's 10:20 P.M. And I have to shut down everything quickly and race to bed. And try to snatch some sleep before Gianna wakes up to be fed at 11:20 P.M. (only slightly exaggerating). But I always get online and I'm sucked into reading email, catching up with my friends blogs, and online shopping. (Oh, Etsy! If only I had an unlimited bank account.) For example,  I always find the best gifts.  But I never gift them. I see something in January and think, Oh, that would make such a great Mother's Day gift! But I never execute. Just ask my Mom.  If you ask her what she has gotten from me as a gift, in the past few years, she'll give you a blank look and probably say something like, "Oh, but I don't need anything...really" And it's true. Mom's got everything that she needs. And if she doesn't, Wal-Mart is right down the street. (Isn't that right, Mom?)  All this browsing, and you'd think that my house would be spectacularly decorated and organized, my kids would be fashionably dressed while being entertained with the most educational toys, and I would have the most incredible ideas about mothering, cooking, crafting, and, dare I say it, the world. This is a long way of saying that I spend all my evening time online and I have nothing to show for it. AUS is away on a business trip this week. This week (and any time he is on a biz trip), I resolve to go to bed early. No pressure to stay up and entertain the spouse with my company! No need to feign interest in our budget or outstanding to-do lists! No need to pretend to want to stay up watching mind-numbing television shows! The idea is that I can go to sleep any time I want to without feeling self-conscious about rolling into the bedroom at 8:30.  But I still stay up later and I end up not doing anything productive. But! Hey! Look! It's a shiny new blog!  I will now (hopefully) have something to show for my dark undereye circles.