Nico's 1st birthday came and went. It did not meet my birthday party expectations. In fact, all plans kind of withered and curled up as soon as the invitations went out. Family was ill , family came in, and life remained busy. The week of his birthday found me uninspired and floundering. I did perk up on his actual birthday, buying balloons and generally happy for him. We had an impromptu cupcake party in the evening. And I mean, impromptu. What happened? I don't know. I guess I was just busy with everything. Suddenly it was 6 o'clock and I'm defrosting the cupcakes from the fridge. I had no idea where I put his "1" candle (still don't). I plucked a beeswax taper from our junk drawer and plunged it into the cloud of vanilla frosting. We sang "happy birthday" quickly, but with love. And then it was over.
I always have big expectations for my children's birthday parties. Like a lot of parents, I want them to be happy events. And Nico's first birthday was no exception. But circumstances out of my control did color the outcome. I knew very certainly that holding onto these expectations were only going to lead me to more disappointment. So I let them go. And I tried to focus on what is important: Nico is so loved, Nico is happy, and Nico is healthy. He was surrounded by love on his birthday and all the days leading up to the big 1st year event.
This leads me to think about how I handle disappointment in my life. Of course Nico's first birthday is not a big deal. As I stated above, what matters is that he is loved. But this has me examining my own motives and how I process things when they do not go as *I* had planned. This is important on the small "birthday" scale, and the larger "life events," like when your mother dies unexpectedly. I have a lot to think about, I guess. What do you do when your expectations are not met? How do you handle the rejection and the disappointment when the outcome is short of what you desire?
No comments:
Post a Comment