No one's home

We have been in the area for a couple of months, and while things are settling, I still feel...unsettled. I am not happy where we are, what our current life looks like, and the overall 'unsettledness' that accompanies our every day. 

RWF cautions me that we have only been here a couple of months, and that it always takes me a long time to feel comfortable.  I do hate change, and am slow to adapt.  This makes change and moving even harder for me. 

I have been actively seeking out books to read about families that move, and design blogs on how the mother (usually it's the mother) sets to work getting her house ready and decorated spectacularly.  The decoration aspect of the new home always involves much planning and anticipation. When I read these accounts, I am hoping to be inspired.  But usually, I am inspired for about 3 minutes ("that was brilliant how she painted the front door orange!") and then I return to apathy about our own house ("who cares.").  

I have no desire to decorate or even unpack. The only decorating I have done is in our kitchen, taping up pictures painted by Bode and Gianna. I have unpacked the essentials - dishes, towels, clothes, etc.  But the personal (photos, mementos, etc.) is still boxed.  

This weekend, Bode said that we lived in "hillbilly hell."  I have no idea where he got that expression but of course, RWF looked at me knowingly.  "What?!!" I exclaimed to RWF, "I didn't say that! I swear, it wasn't me!"  I then quizzed Bode on where he heard that and he said that he didn't know (really, he wasn't interested in answering my question).  RWF looked at me with disdain and sighed, "We really have to be careful about what we say."  "It wasn't me!" I protested.  Then I sat there quietly, trying to remember if I had ever uttered such words. I am usually careful around the children about what I say and think aloud.  I don't want them to pick up on any negativity or feel that anything in their world could be out of sorts. And it's not even something I would say about this place (see? I'm still defensive. I didn't say it!). 

So, as far as putting down roots, unpacking our personal stuff, and decorating, I am still getting used to the idea.

Have you ever moved, or lived somewhere that you felt like wasn't your home, or where you weren't supposed to be?

Happy Monday, friends.

xo