This week, this past month, has been absolutely crazy with planning and packing and buying for this trip to Berlin (oh, and our move to New York, too). This week, Bob has been on a business trip. It has been raining. I've been inside purging, cleaning, organizing, and packing. I feel like I've been ignoring the babies. The babies have been good but not good enough (ha!) (just kidding!). Bode is getting under my skin, and I know it's just because I'm trying to get.things.done. and he's un-doing all that I've done. I know he's going a little stir-crazy inside. This afternoon, we had someone in to view the house. Because that is what I need right now, on top of everything else, is to have to clean this place for a potential tenant. What other things can be added to my list? Bring it.
So, because we were "kicked out" of the house, and it was raining, and because I love to gamble, I thought I'd take the babies to Gymboree. And yes, because I love gambling so much, I figured that I'd just roll the dice on sickness, too. I thought, "If I take them to Gymboree on Wednesday, right before an international flight on Sunday, they are absolutely guaranteed to get sick by Saturday night." The odds are so good.
Seriously, they needed an outlet. Bode was getting a little wild, and I know it is because he has not had any physical activity. So we went to Gymboree. They had a blast. They both ran around like monkeys. And because it was raining, there were about 100 other germ-carrying monkeys running around with them. Gianna is so fearless. It is so funny to watch her, because she just goes and does it all. And I have to be there to stop her, to say, "No, you're not jumping off that. No, not yet..." She gets so mad! I know I shouldn't compare, but Bode was so different at her age. He would have been in my lap, clinging to me, content to just watch everyone else run around. Not Gianna. Gianna walks in and owns the place. Gianna says, "Everybody line up and follow me." Gianna says, "What is the tallest structure in here for me to climb?" Gianna says, "Bring it."
I was rolling Bode in a giant tube and he was laughing like a loon. I just happened to look up for my "Gianna check," to make sure that she wasn't dangling off a light fixture. She was standing, about 5 feet away. And then she took a step. And then another. It happened in slow motion. Or it seemed to happen in slow motion, because inside my head, I heard myself screaming as if in a horror movie, "nooo! nooo! nooo!!!!" She took about 6 steps, and then she fell to her knees and continued "walking" that way again. (About 10 minutes before this event, a nanny was watching Gianna walk around on her knees and remarked how she has been a nanny for 20 years, and has never seen a baby walk around like that.)
I couldn't believe it. She walked. I gave her a big hug, and tried to just hold her in that moment. But we were in the middle of Gymboree, and she had things to do and see. She extracted herself from my arms and quickly moved on. I started crying. I didn't know what to do. It seemed pointless to run and grab the camera. If I called Bob, he probably wouldn't answer (and probably wouldn't want to hear me warbling about how our baby just walked, and then hear me get angry, because our baby walked in the middle of a freaking Gymboree madhouse, without any fanfare or parental encouragement, no loving parental arms to fall into, dammit.). I sat there, amid the chaos of 100 flailing, crying, screaming, laughing kids (and their mothers/nannies) and felt very sad. I stood up and felt unsure of what to do. I had no one to share this with. I told Bode, but his response was only, "Yes. Push me in this now." How to mark the occasion? I went for my phone, but didn't feel like trying to reach Bob (and I knew that his not answering would annoy me). I grabbed my camera and went to snap my baby, the soon-to-be-walking-all-the-time Gianna.
But really? I am so sad about this chapter closing. Sad! Yes, yes, the next chapter will be fun, too, blah blah blah and all that. But my baby. Oh, my baby! She is growing up too fast.
xo
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