I'm re-thinking this 5 kids thing. Maybe God is right - maybe 3 kids is enough! :)
I love torturing RWF whenever the topic of pregnancy comes up (always by moi). "What if we have one more?" I ask (only half-joking).
Then there is the reality of three children, and one stay-at-home mommy. I have very little attention to give to each child, especially because I'm busy with the baby. And then there are the other "important" things like 3 meals a day, clean floors, clean beds and clean bathrooms (at the minimum). I wish I could carve out more time for each child. I tell myself that it will happen. It will happen.
There have been many mornings when I've dropped Bode off and Gianna has cried all the way home. "I ready for skool, Mama. I want to go!" It breaks my heart. Technically, she could go to preschool at 2. But I was not ready to put her into school. I want her to stay at home with me for as long as possible. My thinking is, she will only be home with me for a short time. And then she'll be in school for the rest of her days. I know that socially, she is ready for school. She will make (much needed) friends and learn (hopefully) how to share, play well with others, etc. But I think of the little time that I have left with her, just her and me (and Nico), and I am in no rush. Even if that means that she spends her "alone time" with me following me around the house while I take care of Nico and straighten the house.
RWF and I have been talking about how we can carve out special time for Gianna. She really is the "middle child" right now. Bode does everything outside the home (because of his age) and Nico gets all the attention (because of his age and lack of mobility/independence...ha!).
I finally found a class at the YMCA that is geared toward toddlers aged 2-3. It is an exercise/games type class that is one hour, one morning a week. The timing is perfect because Bode is in school on that morning. This is a big deal to me and to Gianna. For Gianna, it's special because she finally gets to do something fun on her own. (It wasn't our intention to leave her out of the fun. She's just too young for most organized sports and classes.) For me, it alleviates some guilt about Bode getting to do "everything" (school, ski, and soccer). And it gives me a small window of time outside the house where I can play with Gianna. Nico is (usually) content to sit in his stroller during the class.
Yesterday I took Gianna to her special "toddler fun" class at the Y. It was going well, until she started losing interest. I could tell because she walked off in the middle of a game (ha!). I walked over to her and asked her to join the game. She said, "I have to go potty." Oh boy. I ran over to Nico's stroller and grabbed our shoes and bag. I took her hand while wheeling Nico out of the gymnasium. I spotted the ladies locker room and opened the door for Gianna. I used my foot as a doorstop and, with one hand, pushed the stroller through the doorway while keeping the door propped open (if you've ever done this, you know that it's not easy). We walked into the locker room and women were in various stages of dress. I wheeled the stroller straight to the back where I vaguely remembered that showers and restrooms were situated. (It's been a LONG time since I've worked out here!) I did sense that we weren't welcome in there. (Pay attention! This is called foreshadowing!) The area between the dressing room and the bathroom stalls was small. I didn't know where to park the stroller so I parked it as close as I could, but without it being too close to the bathroom stalls (euuw). I helped Gianna with her clothes, and put her on the seat. And then I stood there, halfway in the stall, halfway out of the stall. I needed to watch both children. And then Gianna was updating me on her status, and my attention was turned completely on her. Suddenly, I heard someone say, "Excuse me," I turned and there was a woman THISCLOSE to me. I startled and she half-hissed, half-whispered, "You can't bring children into here." I blinked. She continued, "The women don't like it." I took a deep breath and said, "And I'm sure the women remember how hard it can be to HOLD IT when you have to GO....especially when you are 2 and a HALF years old." Then the lady said, "I'm sorry, (ed: not sounding at all "sorry") but there is a family restroom next door." The lady had already walked off, having gotten that off of her chest. And left me feeling....scolded. And young. And wrong. Here I am, a grown woman with 3 children, and I felt like a child! Then I felt more anger at that lady. The nerve! As we were leaving, I could not help myself. I took Gianna's hand, and while leading her out of the dressing room, I could not resist saying in a louder-than-normal voice, "Come on, Gianna, the ladies don't like it when little girls use this restroom." (Now who is really juvenile? But I couldn't help myself.)
One lady was walking in, and held the door open for us. And then I remembered, a long time ago, when we were given the tour of the facilities, how the YMCA representative had stressed that there was a family restroom and locker room, and we needed to use that when our children were present. Ooops.
If you're ever out in public, and see a person walking with children and/or a stroller trying to enter a building, please hold the door open for her/him! It will take a minute out of your busy day, and it will help her/him immensely. Thank you.
xo
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